Chapter Text
Yule was fast approaching, now less than two weeks away. The slytherin group had yet to ask Hadrian to go home with them for the holidays, not knowing how to approach the topic fully but knowing it wasn't exactly a question. Orders from Lord Malfoy rarely were.
Meanwhile, at the other end of the castle Sirius Black was making his way up the winding stairs to Dumbledore's office, hands clenched into fists, arms slack at his sides. Black had been overthinking the conversation he was about to have for nearly months now.
With a slight slam, Sirius opened the door to Dumbledore's office. The room was large and now seemed to be looming over Sirius now more than it ever had before. The portraits that littered the walls now all had their eyes on him as he slowly made the few steps to the chair opposite the headmaster's desk.
Dumbledore was rested back in his chair, a smile on his face. If the situation had been different the smile may have actually worked to calm Black down, but not today. It seemed the headmaster had known he was coming, not seeming shocked at his abrupt arrival in the slightest. Which was insane as Black had only decided to finally confront the man just twenty minutes ago.
“Sirius my boy, please have a seat. Lemon drop?” Dumbledore said calmly,leaning forward to offer the jar of said sweets to the now sat man. Sirius shook his head, gulping slightly as he did.
“No thank you.” Sirius said, struggling to meet the man's gaze.
“Now. To what do I owe the pleasure? Are you alright my boy?” Dumbledore eyes practically pierced into Black's soul as he asked, Sirius all but shivered.
“Yes, I am fine-” Sirius replied, turning to actually look the headmaster in the eyes. As he finally looked at the man it was as if he had been slapped, Dumbledore just looked so- unbothered. As if Sirius’ life hadn't been thrown for a spin in the last few months. Straightening his expression, as he had once been taught to do, he sat up straight with feigned confidence.
“Actually. No. I’m not alright, Dumbledore. “Sirius exclaimed, anger clear as he spoke. Dumbledore was shocked, a slight twitch of his hands at the exclamation hidden from view under his desk. His eyes slightly widened. Sirius had never once even slightly raised his tone to him before.
“And what is the matter?” Dumbledore asked, a calm questioning tone in his voice.
“I want to speak to Harry.” Sirius answered, tone firm and his glare at full force as he did not dare move his eyes away from where his gaze connected with Dumbledores. Dumbledore sighed.
“Sirius, as I have said you cannot speak to him.” he replied. Sirius scoffed.
“And why for merlin's sake not? He's my bloody godson. I want to speak to him.”Sirius grunted out through angry gritted teeth.
“Because my boy, we don't know anything about him. The boy lives with snakes, we have to be cautious.”Dumbledore sighed out, of course Black would still be held up on this.
“Cautious?! He’s James’ son for crying out loud Albus. What do you think is gonna happen?” Sirius all but shouted, trying hard to not burst out of his seat.
“I have never spoken to the boy. Have you?... No you haven't Sirius, we cannot know what the boy is like. He is fifthteen and has lived with snakes for five years. Caution is needed. Besides Sirius, in all the years you have been in Hogwarts not once have you even mentioned the boy. Why the huge interest now?” Dumbledore asked. A tentative look in his eye, as if dissecting the man before him who sat with his mouth agape.
“You know as well as I do Albus that I was strictly told- by you!- not to speak to him. The last few years I've had to focus on Neville, again under your orders. Can you blame me for wanting to talk to him now I've been reminded how close he is? He’s my godson. James’ son.” Sirius exclaimed, quieting down as he finished, the reminder of James always pulling too harshly on his heart. His gaze left Dumbledore and focused itself on his hands, which had slightly started to tremble.
“Ah, I see. You feel guilty my boy-” Dumbledore spoke, a slight smirk on his face before it disappeared as quick as it came with the snap of Black's head as he spoke.
“What? What did you just say?!” Sirius said, coming out a weak scream that sounded like a kitten with how pathetic it had sounded. His eyes widened in shock, a sligh glaze covering them.
“You finally realized that through all these years, even with him in arms reach you've ignored your best friends- no, your brother's child in favor of another in which you have no connection to so now you feel guilty.”Dumbledore finished. His gaze emotionless and his words laced with spite. He thought the boy pathetic, trying to blame him when it was black's own fault. Dumbledore did not control him, not technically anyway.
“How- How dare you! You told me not to speak to him, to leave him with Lily’s sister and I did. You told me not to talk to him, to focus on Neville- and again I did! I just want to talk to him Albus.”Sirius was getting too angry for his own good, a tear being blinked away before it had its chance to fall.
“I never said that.”Dumbledore said. Sirius’ face snapped to him, mouth fully agape and eyes widened.
“What?” he sputtered out.
“I never told you not to speak to him You did that yourself Sirius.”Dumbledore spoke, no emotion on his face and none in his tone. Sirius stood up with insane speed, the chair he had been sitting in thudded to the floor. The noise rang out through the silence that now encased the room.
“Yes! Yes you did! You told me distinctly not to speak to him when I arrived, you said that Neville needed to be kept safe and be my top priority. And yes I got in over my head and may have forgotten about Harry but that was because I was doing what you told me to!” Sirius screamed, tears welling in his eyes as he spoke, his arms animating his frustrations. All the while Dumbledore looked at the man with no expression.
“Sirius you are imagining things. Ah the Black madness does not miss any does it.” Dumbledore sighed. Sirius’ anger grew as he stared at the man.
“No! No, how dare you Albus. You do not get to bring my blood into this, you messed up. You know what? Screw this.” Sirius screamed. As he finished he quickly left the room, slamming the hard wood door with incredible force. The noise ran through the now silent room. Black stomped down the winding stairs and hurriedly made his way back to his chambers. Careful not to run into any students as he did.
As he arrived he slammed open the door, unknowingly having made his way to Remus’ chamber instead of his own. The door hit the wall as it was slammed open, the wood nearly splintering with the force, Sirius didn't care to notice though. He began to pace, hands fisted in his hair. Remus, who had been sitting and reading, stared in shock. Slowly placing down his now bookmarked page and heading hesitantly in Sirius’ direction.
“Bloody hell Padfoot what's wrong? Bloody hell, stop pulling at your hair or it'll come out!”Remus exclaimed, now gaining Black's attention. Sirius in his shock span to face Remus, now noticing where he was and slowly pulling his hands free from his hair as he did.
“Thank you. Now what on earth is wrong with you?”Remus asked, exasperated at the dramatic appearance of the man. He still wasn’t ok being around him.
“Bloody Dumbledore is what happened!”Sirius nearly shouted, Remus let the shock run over his face for a slight second.
“What about him? Did something happen?”Remus asked, concern in his tone.
“Did something happen?”Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes as he did, still moving in place as if he was still pacing. He continued in a snarky tone.“Of course something happened Remus”
“Okay. f*ck Sirius no need for that, I was just asking. Are you gonna tell me or not? If not the door is there as you know, since you nearly broke it, you know where to leave.”Remus grunted back, not appreciating the attitude he was getting from the man. He had bloody slammed into his chamber after all.
“Sorry. I'm sorry. Albus wont let me speak to Harry. Said he never told me not to talk to him. But he did Remus.I swear to you he did! He told me to focus on Neville and not speak to Harry so I didn't.” Sirius sighed, his emotions getting the best of him. He couldn't look at Remus, so just stared at his hands as he finished speaking.
“Hadrian.” Remus said.
“What?”Sirius asked, head having snapped up to look at Remus where he was now leaning against the back of the sofa that was in his chambers.
“His name is Hadrian. It's what he goes by and what's on the register. Not Harry. Hadrian.” Remus sighed out, he knew Sirius was unobservant and oblivious but really? The boy was in his class for merlin's sake.
“But James-”Sirius silently said with a look of sadness in his eyes, Remus interrupted him.
“James is dead Sirius. Hadrian doesnt know him, probably doesn't even know who picked the name. But that doesnt matter. His name is Hadrian. And I promise you he won't reply to anything but.”Remus said, now standing up and moving slightly closer to the door, just to the other side of Sirius.
Sirius just stared at Remus, tears lining his eyes. How had Sirius not noticed it, was he that so far in his head that while he taught he didn't catch the entirely different name his ‘godson’ used? Remus just sighed, not able to look at the man.
“Remus. I don't care what Albus says. I'm going to speak to him. He’s my godson.”Sirius said, halting Remus in his steps towards the door. “I've missed so much of his life Remus. And he's right there. I'm not going to let Albus stop me.”
Remus sighed. Unable to turn around and face the man.
“Do whatever you want Sirius. You always do. Just- just dont be surprised if you don't like what you find”Remus spoke, slightly turning his head to catch a glance at the man as he finished. Sirius stood with his mouth slightly open, a confused expression on his now tear soaked face.
“I’ve got things to do. You know where the door is.”Remus finished, quickly moving to leave his own chambers so as to get far away from Black who was unmoving in his place.
Sirius watched on in silence as Remus’ footsteps disappeared down the hall. His mouth moved as if to speak but no words came out. Sirius slowly made his way to his own chambers this time. sadness being the only thing he felt besides confusion.
What did Remus mean?
